It’s that time of the year when you’re bombarded with headlines like “23 Ways to Beat the Heat!”, “Perspire or Expire” and “Look hotter than Summer- wwww.cheapclothing.com”. In keeping with that theme, I present the only real solution to summer, i.e. leave. Head to the hills and only come back with 10 Tibetan flags to stick them to your near and dear ones!
It’s that time of the year when all the teenagers go like, “Let’s go to LADAKH and get LEH’ed!” because YOLO! In the remaining of free time from all the free time that they have, they tag their friends on every buzzfeed article that reads, “20 places you must visit before you turn 20”. What they don’t know is the writer of these articles hasn’t been to any of those places even at 30, and is earning from writing it to suffice his travel expenditure between Churchgate and Andheri. Because YDE- You Die Every day!
It’s that time of the year when kids have holidays, and parents are looking for summer camps just to get them off their back. Judge me all you want, but it still blows my mind that we no longer have summer holidays. No more three-month periods of doing nothing. If I could, I would enforce that rule in the adult world as well, leading to a worldwide vacation, as essential services ground to a halt and the global economy crumbled to a point where we were back to barter system. Wait, aren’t we headed there anyway?
It’s that time of the year when a lot of our history was made. Call it poetic or call it dramatic, but, “He protested against them by fasting in the heat, and fought without drinking a sip of water” has an impact! And then there’s me. I wouldn’t even need to be tortured or anything. If you want to get state secrets out of me, just put me in a room with a fan that the bai forgets to turn on after jhaadu. In three seconds, I’d confess to everything from hum aapke exactly hai kaun to killing Gandhi.
It’s that time of the year when we really, actually, truly, essentially wish that we would have been born on other side of the globe. Because our government has a sure shot way of torturing us and giving us something that we just don’t need – power cuts. I am sure there are more humane ways of letting us know that you hate us, and don’t care a damn once all the income tax is filed in March.
It’s that time of the year, and probably the only bright side of summer, when we can relish on Mangoes- a fruit known worldwide for its ability to drive Indians nuts. Because otherwise we are pretty great at it ourselves.
There’s about six weeks of this nonsense left, so it would be best to pack your bags and go to the hills – and no, I do not mean Pandavlena!