A writer’s block

There are times when I know exactly what I want to write about, and then there are times when nothing appeals to me, there are just no new ideas, and an entire week goes by without me even deciding what I am going to write about. What works best in this situation is the last minute panic, and when you don’t know what you must write about, the best thing to do is to write about exactly that!

The only thing to note in this whole confusing paragraph is that I have blatantly called myself a writer. Oh yeah!

So, let’s explore how to unblock this block, and what things may help one do that:

  • Spend a morning at a coffee shop:

Well, that’s the solution to every problem we face. From not being able to concentrate on studying to not being able to get that girl. After all, as the famous café claims- A lot can happen over coffee. NOT. In reality, nothing happens over coffee. Four hours later, you still have no new ideas, and you are broke from paying a bomb for not-so-good coffee.

  • Carry a notebook:

Right from Kinder Garten to Undergrad College, this is by far the most popular advice given by teachers to students – beyond all courses and regions. Note down your idea as soon as it strikes. If you have never worn a pair of skinny jeans, you know what I am talking about. We barely manage to fit our thighs in there, let alone a small notebook and pen! Even if one does, it is highly optimistic of us to believe that they will get “ideas” in such uncomfortable situations! Phew.

Well, I can hear my sister screaming – TMI bro, TMI!

  • Break your routine:

One syndrome that our generation is facing right now is leave-your-job-to-travel-the-world kind of bucket lists. That’s one stop solution to this monotonous life, and one of the most romanticized answers for this daily humdrum. Well, if you know me, I need a break from all the breaks I keep taking all the time…umm, I hope you have not taken this very seriously, papa?

  •  Watch people:

Ride the bus. Take the train. Watch people in their natural habitat. Watch them run, watch them eat, watch them at a busy street, watch them at a mall, at a concert. Observing people, their actions, and their outlook is one of the most effective ways for self-growth. While you are making your way into the crowded trains smelling various degrees of sweat, don’t forget to get inspired and learn!

  • Do something creative.

Create. Create anything. Draw, paint, sing, dance, bake, play with clay dough, teach, inspire, do some community service, create knowledge for the poor, electrify shelters. Just about anything that interest you, and helps someone else.

“Are you telling me that one the ways to counter me not being able to create an article is to create something else? Are you even listening to yourself?” Sigh. Trust you to kill my glamourized sentiment.

Well, until next time, you will find me at the closest coffee-shop, doing a research on my next “break”.

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Cheeni kum

8732d8f6055db0399ec521695c74b311I am so ashamed of myself. And not because I did something as clichéd as uploading the picture of yummy dessert from last night on Instagram, but because I actually had it. The whole of that mouthwatering, yummy, delectable, delicious blueberry cheesecake.  As of now, I am supposed to be on diet, and hence eating anything that even remotely tastes good is criminal!

Like most people, I can always say that fitness is my first priority. I don’t miss my exercise unless there are more pressing issues like sleeping, working, reading, watching a movie, sleeping again, trying that winged eye-liner for the hundredth time, failing at it, looking like a panda and then sleeping…you get the point! If it weren’t for these distractions, I could have managed to fit an entire Bangladesh in my thigh gap.

And then sometimes I get tired of all my excuses, and decide to rather get tired at the gym. There is a lot to lose, you know! Earlier gym were simpler. There was stuff to pick-up and then, heavier stuff to pick-up. Now it is much more complicated. Now, to upmarket themselves, they sell sauna, spa packages, aromatherapy (not talking about sweat here), yoga, Zumba or aerobics, nutrition counselling – if it has a taste, spit it out. But the great thing is, you lose weight as soon as you join the gym, because they charge both your kidneys as fees.

Staying fit and healthy is a community service, because everyone around you is trying to stay fit as well. Knowing about fitness can be of great help to avoid awkward social interactions. One day you go to the gym, and the whole world is trying to tell you – don’t eat carbs post 7 p.m., and even if you do then team it with a high protein salad, which for him right now is my brain. I generally have wheat bran chapatti – which my grandfather tells me was by-product in their times – and now are “imported” and sold in a better packet than wheat. And of course blah blah blah green tea.

The beauty of the whole thing is you don’t even have to be fit to advice other people. The other day, I saw someone with so many potatoes in the market, that I couldn’t control telling them if they have any idea how much starch does the thing has. Turns out, he was only trying to sell them!

Well, it is going to be challenging, but I am going to keep at it. Having said that, I feel there is too much hogwash regarding this topic, and people are talking more than they are following. I think it is so exhausting to even think about it, that you already need a big piece of anything unhealthy to recuperate. Nevertheless, I ain’t missing my protein-packed dinner for anything. And of course, green tea.

I wrote about this topic because how can you go to the gym and not announce in the newspaper? I would be such a waste.

Long Shot

In a population of 1.3 billion people,hockey-copy-650_022712061716 it takes some amazing skills to not excel in any sport other than cricket! Indian sports as it stands today is not what it once was. Indeed, India had significant victories in football and hockey earlier in the century – a far cry from the sorry state of affairs today.

Let us consider the top 5 reasons for sports not working in our stride!

  1. No infrastructure:

Of course! That is our answer to everything! It’s like we have accepted that it is an acceptable answer, and then feel sorry for ourselves. Why doesn’t the government make pet shelters? No infrastructure for people, how can we create one for dogs? Okay, why isn’t there shelter for everyone? Because they rented it out. Oh yes, why should they shift to a better facility, if they can earn an added income, and still enjoy the perks of being under poverty line?

Sure.

2. Education:

At school, and at home both. We are taught to be great at sports, only after we excel in academics! One of the more popular sayings in recent times is – “If you are good at something, do it after engineering.” That essentially sums up our entire education system. Sports is not encouraged in schools, or at home. Forget it even being an option, it is royally looked down upon and used as sarcasm if you don’t score well – “Aur khelo bahar jaake!”

It’s viewed as a mere hobby in our country, and not a career.

3. Electricity:

You would say I have a knack of starting with any topic and bringing it to a point where I bash our government for core issues. Well, what do I do if they function that way! This year a few of our players were robbed of a chance to participate in the Rio Olympics only because – wait for it – power failure! What? Yes, you read it right. In the part of the country when people use generators to prepare lassi in a celebration, one couldn’t be deployed for something as important as Olympic selection, is a sham(e).

4. Role-models.

How can this not make it to the list when Salman is involved! There was a whole fiasco regarding the ambassadors for Rio Olympics, and Salman Khan was one of them. Since we don’t encourage sports, we need to borrow from Bollywood to represent us in sports as well. Anyway, given the collective IQ of our country, we come to know about our great sportsmen only when a movie is made on them! Sigh.

Though, Salman is a great choice. He is a great shooter himself.

5. Genes:

This is my favourite! I was bowled over when I was doing my research and realized that a lot of people believe that we don’t excel in sports because we don’t have the kind of body required for it! In a population of 1.3 billion people. Bravo!

If anything, we are great at making excuses, and no one can beat us to that. Not even close.

An Open Letter To All The Moms

According to a research on development of human race, Mothers are ..umm..kinda very important!

They take care of the next generation, shape them, mould them to take on the world, ask them to wear better clothes, to clean up, and while you are at it, clean the room as well, you must help around in the house, come for the wedding just for half an hour, you need to moisturize, and why don’t you…you get the point, right?

multitasking-mom4Well on this very grateful mother’s day note, I would like to ask only one question to all the mothers in the world – Are you insane? And I mean this is the nicest possible way! Why would you take up a 24*7*365 days job of standing on your feet, eating only after your “associate” does, no holidays, no vacations, giving up your body, your life, your hopes, your dreams, and sign-up for a lifelong unpaid internship at Sacrifice and Strain Pvt. Ltd.! I appreciate you guys for what you do, not only for the fact that it’s noble and important, but also because it looks tough – yes kiddo, tougher than the board exam that you jusssssst managed to clear yesterday!

I am of that age when my news feed on Facebook is filled with Baby albums titled “My Angel. My Life.”, “Welcome to the family my munchkin” or “Aww, here’s the end to all my hopes and dreams. And sleep.”

There is a beautiful saying on a traffic island in Bandra, it says- “A child gives birth to a mother.” Wow. I think it is very fascinating, but I just don’t know what it is doing in the middle of the road! Anyway, the credit, for moms being as awesome as they are, is all ours! Yaay. And knowing mine, she will happily let me take it!

But seriously, kudos to you guys! I think you are incredible.

I don’t remember ever wishing my Mom properly on Mother’s day. I mean what’s the point of this one day, when I can trouble her for all the rest 364 days as well! And then I could always buy gifts. But, it is very difficult to gift something to an Indian mom. Here’s how the conversation goes:

Me: Mom, let me take you out for dinner to that amazing new place that everyone is talking about.

Mom: I will make better food at home. Don’t waste money.

Me: Look Mom, this is a necklace so expensive, that had we been ruled by British even today, they would have taken this to keep besides the Kohinoor. (Yeah yeah, Kohinoor was “gifted”.)

Mom: Oh that! I know a shop that will make the same piece for one-tenth the price. Don’t waste money.

Me: Mom, look what I…Forget it!

I will just dedicate this column to her. This is something that she cannot make at home for cheap. I think.

PS- Cannot thank you enough for everything. I love you. Happy Mother’s Day!