Marred-Age

It is that time of the year. I am in that time of my life. This time of the year is the worst time for me to be in that time of my life – It’s when two idiots have decided to go for it, mahurats have matched and Taj Gateway has an extra banquet hall all ready. The wedding season!

*match-making aunty flicks a tear of joy*

Till now, it was easy to play hide-n-seek with about just a million wedding invites each year. I didn’t care about them, and the great news is, they did not either! I was happy saving 4 hours of my life, and they were happy saving Rs. 800 of my plate!

So just yesterday I was still sticking finger in my nose, and today I am getting invites to my friend’s weddings – not my elder sister’s friend, or friend’s elder brother buT MY FRIENDS! MY FRIENDS!!! I AM GETTING SO HYSTERICAL JUST WRITING ABOUT IT THAT I AM SHOUTING! WHY GOD, WHY?!B9hXCnPIMAAYUAM

And unfortunately, I love these people- So, I am not only going to attend a total of 5 weddings but all 50 thousand functions of all 5 weddings! One of the few times I wish I was Christian- I do. I do. We go.

Oops!! I can feel it. Intolerance is rising. Shut up! No cares when you are not Amir Khan. *Sulks*

Anyway…

It’s the first time that I am actually using all those motivational I-kid-you-not-kid speeches given to children preparing to get into courses that are actually kidding them: Life is hard. Life is difficult. Deal with it. I spend 20 minutes each morning, using all the knowledge I can remember from the compulsory Yoga class (that I spent doing Shavasana) at school, preparing myself to clear all three rounds of the upcoming trial-

  1. Laden self with 200 kilograms.
  2. Practice and execute dancing on DJ wale babu mera gaana chala do! Without alcohol!
  3. Stand in a line as big as the population of Hong Kong to meet and greet the grin-stricken face of the bride and groom for a micro-second! Oh wait, that is not even a micro-second.

…And get unnoticed! Too much pressure on this little one, I say!

Frankly, I don’t mind other people getting married! I mean free food- Yaay! But things really turn seriously funny, or rather funnily serious when your parents start getting ideas! And it’s worse when you haven’t found anyone yourself, and they offer to help you out! I mean it makes you feel like a failure! It’s their way of saying – Tumse na ho payega, beta!

*digs a hole and goes underground*

I think for my own sake I should stop here. You guys can continue with surfing the web for latest trends, thinking of a reason to avoid that ONE wedding (share your ideas with me as well), buying cheap gifts that look expensive. And while you are at it, I would recommend investing in a great pair of shades. Too much bling is not too good for our eyes, you know!

*gets back to DJ waley babu…*

A Very Colourful White-Wedding!

A few days back, I attended a traditional Belgian wedding. I was so excited when Bruno (well, that is another story about how he is family) informed us about his wedding! Of course travelling to Europe was like a side-effect of it, but this highlight turned out to be so much fun!

I felt the contrast in an Indian and a Western wedding right from the beginning. Having come from a kattar Marwari family, and attended a lot of these great fancy Indian weddings, dressing for a western one was so different! How can you attend a wedding without wearing things that do not weigh double your weight? That’s blasphemy!
Anyway, all formal prim and proper, we left for the church. We did not understand anything that happened there, since it was all in French, but the kiss signaled that the main part was right there! Yes, I am smart that way! It was so nice of Bruno to say a part of his speech – that is not elaborated in the movies – in Shudh Hindi. Very heartfelt, we were so touched! Love you, bhai! 😀

What came later was a great surprise!
The wedding party then shifted to the outdoors, at a resort nearby, and was called – The Sunmount Festival.
There were these funky badges, and entry bands tied around our wrist at the entrance. Custom made neon glasses were all over the place. Champagne was served at the entrance, with tables already laid out with snacks. Every family member was given like an ID card with their name and title written on it! It was a bright sunny day in Belgium – a celebration in itself!

A full-day event was planned, with a few stand-ups, photography session, video session, dance party et al lined up. Bruno composed and sang a song for Carolina, while playing four instruments simultaneously! How wonderful that was! A very helpful Italian family member of Bruno’s helped us with all the translation, and made us feel so much at home! In fact everyone there seemed thrilled to have us, coming from so far for the event, and were so helpful, so courteous, that it did made us feel like a part of their culture, their family.

We spent the entire day at the ‘carnival’. The photography session took place in the backdrop of a tree, with funky props to choose from for everybody – right from bows to mustaches, tiaras, bunny ears they had it all!

We left tired. We left happy. We left with good memories, a different experience, and with prayers for the bride and the groom.