An Open Letter To All The Moms

According to a research on development of human race, Mothers are ..umm..kinda very important!

They take care of the next generation, shape them, mould them to take on the world, ask them to wear better clothes, to clean up, and while you are at it, clean the room as well, you must help around in the house, come for the wedding just for half an hour, you need to moisturize, and why don’t you…you get the point, right?

multitasking-mom4Well on this very grateful mother’s day note, I would like to ask only one question to all the mothers in the world – Are you insane? And I mean this is the nicest possible way! Why would you take up a 24*7*365 days job of standing on your feet, eating only after your “associate” does, no holidays, no vacations, giving up your body, your life, your hopes, your dreams, and sign-up for a lifelong unpaid internship at Sacrifice and Strain Pvt. Ltd.! I appreciate you guys for what you do, not only for the fact that it’s noble and important, but also because it looks tough – yes kiddo, tougher than the board exam that you jusssssst managed to clear yesterday!

I am of that age when my news feed on Facebook is filled with Baby albums titled “My Angel. My Life.”, “Welcome to the family my munchkin” or “Aww, here’s the end to all my hopes and dreams. And sleep.”

There is a beautiful saying on a traffic island in Bandra, it says- “A child gives birth to a mother.” Wow. I think it is very fascinating, but I just don’t know what it is doing in the middle of the road! Anyway, the credit, for moms being as awesome as they are, is all ours! Yaay. And knowing mine, she will happily let me take it!

But seriously, kudos to you guys! I think you are incredible.

I don’t remember ever wishing my Mom properly on Mother’s day. I mean what’s the point of this one day, when I can trouble her for all the rest 364 days as well! And then I could always buy gifts. But, it is very difficult to gift something to an Indian mom. Here’s how the conversation goes:

Me: Mom, let me take you out for dinner to that amazing new place that everyone is talking about.

Mom: I will make better food at home. Don’t waste money.

Me: Look Mom, this is a necklace so expensive, that had we been ruled by British even today, they would have taken this to keep besides the Kohinoor. (Yeah yeah, Kohinoor was “gifted”.)

Mom: Oh that! I know a shop that will make the same piece for one-tenth the price. Don’t waste money.

Me: Mom, look what I…Forget it!

I will just dedicate this column to her. This is something that she cannot make at home for cheap. I think.

PS- Cannot thank you enough for everything. I love you. Happy Mother’s Day!

Jai Mata Di

In India, we are very lucky because we have multiple Maa’s – Dharti maa, Bharat Maa, Ganga Maa, Our own Maa, Dai Maa, and for some even Radhe Maa.

And when I write Jai Mata Di, I am definitely not talking about the funny woman, over-decked as a Christmas Tree (or our very own version of Santa Clause?), who carries a Trishul in the flight! I mean I laughed so hard when I read this news; it made the colour of my blood as red as Radhe Maa could get! Alright, alright. I know it’s a forced metaphor, but come on, I had to use it! You know me.

On the other hand, the entire nation is disturbed by one regional leader’s reservation against saying ‘Bharat Mata Ki Jai’! And it couldn’t have been timed better (or worse) when the entire country is struggling to define nationalism, or rather anti-nationalism. Everyone is acting like a self-appointed inspector to scrutinize, review and sentence anyone and everyone as an anti-nationalist!

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Cartoon courtesy – @MANJULtoons

And our very own Shiv Sena is like that audio cassette that has stopped working and plays only one thing on loop – Go to Pakistan. “You eat beef?” – Go to Pakistan. “Muslims want special treatment?” – Go to Pakistan. “Amir Khan even opens his mouth” – Go to Pakistan. Well well guys, enjoy the free vacation! Shiv Sena is like those teachers from school, who are so inefficient that only thing they can tell the students who won’t listen to them is – Go to Principal’s office. Sigh. We know how lame this bunch is!

I think the true question here is- can the politicians approach us without any hocus pocus? Sometimes I feel that we get trapped in the words so much so that we forget what the real issue at hand is, and start fighting for something that is completely bizarre, and at times unnecessary. And it is even worse when our politicians capitalize on this trait of ours! I mean can’t you all educated, wise, and astute people of this nation see the mockery of it all?

Just because someone says ‘Bharat Mata Ki Jai’ doesn’t mean he will always work in the interest of the nation. And vice versa. I can very well be a gangster and say jai Hind at every opportunity I can! There are ample nationalist and anti-nationalist who are a part of riots, moral policing, scams and et al. Slogans cannot be an ultimate sign of patriotism! Hence, not saying one, or teaching them in schools, both, according to me, hold no meaning – unless one can induce patriotic feelings in children.

And something that it definitely is not is religious. How is saying “Bharat Mata Ki Jai” Anti-Muslim, or Pro-Hindu? There was one post doing the rounds on social media, which beautifully displays how ‘Bharat Mata Ki Jai’ is only about the country, and has nothing do with your religion- Bharat Ammi Ki Jai. Amin.

PS- Can Mulayam Singh Yadav please gift “Samajwadi Sugandh” to all anti-nationals, to spread their essence of “samajwad”.