It’s A M’ad World

WARNING- Do not try this at home. It’s written under professional supervision. Oops, vision. Oops again, promotion.

'Great ad campaign. Now all we need is a product.'

It knows what makes you shop. It shapes your desires. It invades your dreams. It classifies class. It makes you realise the importance of 30 seconds, while waiting for your video to load. It distracts you on the app. It is everywhere! It is the ad world that makes our world tick. It is a mad-ad world at that. We make this mad world.

Do you ever see a commercial and feel like tearing out your hair? Well, bald men are exempt from answering this question. Unless, you were able to grow all that hair back, all thanks to the 2 a.m. ads. This night binge watching of ads is a trap.

I know a gazillion people who can actually have just one air-filled-air-tight chip. Yes, they stop at the first one! APOCALYPSE! (Well no. They are on a diet, and shouldn’t have essentially eaten that one as well).

I know no one – NO ONE – who because of their super white clothes, or even fair-er skin landed them THE dream job. I mean of course Will Smith and Nelson Mandela aren’t famous. Or loved. We are all just jackasses.

Obviously, one doesn’t see many scantily clad women on the street charging at a man just because he smells nice. Actually, one doesn’t see scantily clad women on the streets, period. And just for the record, most of your faces are stronger repellent. The women in commercials aren’t crazy either. I mean, money talks, honey!

Don’t you think the soap brand took it too far when after Aishwarya Rai, Kareena Kapoor, Katrina Kaif, they claimed their soap has done wonders to Shah Rukh Khan’s skin as well. SRK! Really now?!

And I, for one, can vouch for how using a certain network is one of the worst “ideas” of my life- though it did give me the idea to write this column. Don’t judge me, now! – I am not from IIN. *cries tears of blood*

The point is how dumb do you think your target-audience is. Well, the companies that pay millions of dollars to professionals for all those fancy surveys don’t always get it that wrong. I mean they must be doing something right if they are willing to spend so much on these bizarre commercials. What this mumbo-jumbo essentially means is these companies consider most of us dumb. Well, you do buy the product? Yes? Then you’re dumb. The truth is out there and it’s bitter.

Having said that, some ads are creative geniuses. From utterly butterly creative ads to pa parara pa rara, I think a few ads go a long way!

All said and done, you like them, you love them, you enjoy them, you detest them, but you cannot avoid them. Just like no one can read this one without the tune:

Washing powder Nirma, washing powder Nirma.

Doodh si safedi nirma se aayi,

Rangeen kapda bhi…..Caught you!

The ‘Raj’ in ‘Rajkaran’

 

Did you manage to see this rather frankly spoken interview of Mr. Raj Thackeray?

While an all-in-one solution for Kejriwal is to remove corruption, for Thackeray it is to remove the “Bhaiyas”. I think, if it was in his stride, he would remove them from Bihar even.

Q: What is you opinion about the increasing number of rape cases?

RT: We need to control the migration from north.

Q: What about water crisis?

RT: We need to control the migration from north.

Q: What about infrastructure development?

RT: We need to control the migration from north.

Q: What about tourism?

RT: We need to control the migration from ..err.

I like the way he is so clear in his thoughts, and so confident about the fear-is-the-only-way-to-govern funda – doesn’t mean I agree. I think, as against Arnab Goswami’s image, this episode proved the presence and command of the interviewee over the interviewer. This episode was terrific in a lot of ways.

Having said that, it is actually scary to think of a stubborn, stagnant if I may add, “ruler”. Avoid the context, and specifications generalize and keep repeating the generalization, seems to be his Mantra. It is a very divisive kind of politics. It has definitely worked in his favour, to create a space and standing for MNS in such a short while, after having separated from Shiv Sena. But in the long run, in my opinion, such kind of politics will do much more harm than good.

Migration and population are important issues, yes, but they certainly cannot be the reasons for fewer resources, increasing crime rates, no development, poor governance, diminishing safety and security and so on and on and on…and so forth. These problems have been used as a shield way too many times- to cover unpromising, disinterested and helpless politicians.

PS – Awaiting to hear what Mr. Sharad “Power” has to say about this.